Lost in Translation

Let me start out by saying that in the United States crackers are little things you eat.

Now then, I have been hearing about these things called "Christmas Crackers" that seem to be the rage here (or maybe not really the rage, but tradition).

So, I decided I needed to get a box of Christmas crackers and see how tasty these little things were. I just couldn't figure out in my head why crackers would all of the sudden become so popular around Christmas, but I guess I didn't think much about it. So one day I scouted around town trying to find the best place to buy these crackers because I thought Tesco wasn't good enough for something that is supposed to be special. None of the chocolate shops in town had them so I forgot about it and later ended up at Tesco with a box in my hand. I got home and anxiously unravelled the box to find instructions. Hmm, I thought, that's weird. So I called Andrew in to open them because I wasn't pulling hard enough to open them. Then "POP" and here we find ourselves with a little toy surprise. What the heck? So, needless to say, crackers are not things you eat here. Biscuits are what you eat here. Crackers are the sound that you hear when you open this contraption and find a toy inside. I should have known because I saw a box of Disney "crackers" in Tesco too which I suppose has Disney toys inside.

Oh what we learn each day here in the land of the Scots. Here are a few other terms that have wiggled their way into our vocabulary:

perambulator/push chair = stroller

Tipp-Ex = white out

aubergine = eggplant

hiya = hello

courgette = zuchinni

black treakle = molasses (that one was hard to find in the store)

cheers = toast to your good heath, thanks, best wishes, good bye, your welcome or okay

overtaking = passing (in your car)

carriageway = pavement

wool balls = cotton balls

scan = ultrasound

pop in = stop by

cracking = good time/conversation, where the action is

quid = cash (sort of)

Now for some deeper lingo that Andrew would like to incorporate into his daily speech:

cack-handed = clumsy

lecky = electric

carry the can = take the blame

parky = chilly

neep = turnip

chimwag = chat

pawky = dryly humorous

codswallop = hogwash

bee's knees = the best